lol…
yurz-truly:
and poor sistinesmile’s tumbhilarity probably just jumped, like, 500 points in a matter of a half hour!
sorry if all this attention all at once is freaking you out. heh.
*
No shit…I went from a 13 to a 78 in a matter of minutes. I feel like I should be getting to wear one of your class rings now or something.
And no…not freaking out. Still will probably not blog a lot…but I will work to be a little more outgoing here. Thanks everyone for reaching out and asking about me. Again, sorry if my lurking caused any distress. I promise that I am harmless :)
sistine
clytie:
sistinesmile:
am-:
you are so not weird for being tumblr-shy. you are probably saner than the rest of us. haha
it’s nice to hear from you and find out who you are (well… kinda…). the mystery was just your timing, i think. you happened to start following us when weird things were happening in the ryan-tumblr community. your blog stayed blank for a while and some of us (me) are easily suspicious :P
anyway…. if you’ve been reading, you probably know about me… what about you? what do you and stuff? (haha, jeez, i do NOT mean that in an awkward first date way… tell or don’t tell, it’s your blog, it’s up to you :P)
Yeah, it took Acheron calling me out to finally blog something. I felt bad for just lurking around and causing people to wonder. I have really been enjoying reading about your adventures with school. I just finished my masters degree this semester. Christ, that has really been something. I work with homeless people who struggle with substance abuse and mental health issues….I do individual and group counseling….my days are typically really stressful and filled with heartache, so coming onto tumblr and reading about lighter things has been a great escape for me…..and I am a hugh RA fan. Now this is beginning to sound like a twelve step meeting. My name is Katie and I am a Ryan Adams fan….there…now that is out there. :)
Welcome Katie!! ;) isn’t it funny how a lot of RA fans have very stressful potentially heartbreaking jobs? Good luck to you! I was a social worker in Seattle and worked with homeless women and children.
Thanks Clytie. It is great to hear that so many of you work to help others…..and really I dont think that it is so surprising that many RA fans are helpers. I mean….I know I am drawn to his lyrics because of the emotion that he evokes. We want to help those in pain…probably because that is a feeling that we ourselves know a little too well….?
sistinesmile
yurz-truly:
am-:
why are you so mysterious?
clytie:
I think the same thing… been intrigued for months. Who is this person cocked and loaded? friend or foe? There is the smile in the name…..
theboxer:
Friend. Some people, myself included, are a bit hesitant to put their thoughts and feelings out there on the internet. It induces anxiety (God knows why?). I have a feeling Sistine is similar to me in that she prefers to observe before interacting. I vote FRIEND all the way.
————
I’m inclined to trust Boxer. It was just an unfortunate circumstance that you showed up right around the same time as some truly nasty trolls at my other account last year. I s’pose I’ve been more disposed to be suspicious of unexpected followers since then. But I understand the inclination to lurk. Prior to a year ago or so, I was always more of a quiet reader than a participant as well. I’d read several blogs and message boards regularly for years, and never said a word. It felt weird to actually break that fourth wall and enter into the “stories” I’d been following.
Even weirder was to actually form acquaintanceships/”friendships” (to the extent that this can be done) with the very people whose stories and personalities I’d been silently endeared to for so long. Kind of like these charming, pseudo-fictional characters in a novel that you get sort of attached to, and then discover that they’re actually becoming a real part of your own story as well. I remember it all being a very strange and fascinating phenomenon for me when I first started dipping my toe in and participating.
It really is such a strange phenomenon to just sit back and observe. IRL I tend to be a bit attention seeking and outgoing…tumblr and message boards have given me the oppurtunity to take on a different role I think….and it has been quite nice to not feel the pressure to “take the lead” or just jump in. It seems like stretching different muscles, and that feels nice. I think that due to who I am, and what I do, I feel a lot of pressure to make sure that everyone I interact with is okay…and online just reading about others has been so much less stressful. I love the way that you described this phenomenon though…soooo on the mark. I have to say though, that it has been kinda nice to be so anonymous. Sadly, that has been a luxury that I dont get to have much in life….somewhat due to my own doing I must admit.
sistinesmile
theboxer:
clytie:
theboxer:
clytie:
am-:
why are you so mysterious?
I think the same thing… been intrigued for months. Who is this person cocked and loaded? friend or foe? There is the smile in the name…..
Friend. Some people, myself included, are a bit hesitant to put their thoughts and feelings out there on the internet. It induces anxiety (God knows why?). I have a feeling Sistine is similar to me in that she prefers to observe before interacting. I vote FRIEND all the way.
I am getting that vibe! great! I noticed her first when FGPS first got started and we were getting some very negative attention in the beginning. I have always had a curiosity about her.
No need to be shy around here. I am shy in the real world, but here I feel free to communicate even if I make an ass out of myself.. maybe the lack of eye contact has something to do with it.
Yurz Truly and I had an interesting conversation a while back about online persona vs. IRL persona and how it can misrepresent your “true” identity. Apparently, I’m in the minority because I am so much more reserved here than I am IRL.
Make no mistake, I’m also an introvert IRL, but I’ve seen some brutal shiz go down on the Internets what with people turning against people and others making an about face when they realize a certain someone might be watching/reading. I hate plenty of comments, but I mostly keep them to myself because I want no part of anything that might be ticking and ready to explode.
Funny you should mention lack of eye contact… I find it much easier to engage with people IRL because I can see their reactions to what I’m saying, if that makes sense.
Oh wow….I am the same way! It is so much easier for me to talk to people face to face. I suppose that this enables me to interpret all of their non-verbal ques…..you know, like road signs…..proceed with caution, etc. On line it is so easy to misinterpert tone and such…..Not to mention that you really dont know who you are talking to.
sistine
am-:
you are so not weird for being tumblr-shy. you are probably saner than the rest of us. haha
it’s nice to hear from you and find out who you are (well… kinda…). the mystery was just your timing, i think. you happened to start following us when weird things were happening in the ryan-tumblr community. your blog stayed blank for a while and some of us (me) are easily suspicious :P
anyway…. if you’ve been reading, you probably know about me… what about you? what do you and stuff? (haha, jeez, i do NOT mean that in an awkward first date way… tell or don’t tell, it’s your blog, it’s up to you :P)
Yeah, it took Acheron calling me out to finally blog something. I felt bad for just lurking around and causing people to wonder. I have really been enjoying reading about your adventures with school. I just finished my masters degree this semester. Christ, that has really been something. I work with homeless people who struggle with substance abuse and mental health issues….I do individual and group counseling….my days are typically really stressful and filled with heartache, so coming onto tumblr and reading about lighter things has been a great escape for me…..and I am a hugh RA fan. Now this is beginning to sound like a twelve step meeting. My name is Katie and I am a Ryan Adams fan….there…now that is out there. :)
sistinesmile
clytie:
theboxer:
clytie:
am-:
why are you so mysterious?
I think the same thing… been intrigued for months. Who is this person cocked and loaded? friend or foe? There is the smile in the name…..
Friend. Some people, myself included, are a bit hesitant to put their thoughts and feelings out there on the internet. It induces anxiety (God knows why?). I have a feeling Sistine is similar to me in that she prefers to observe before interacting. I vote FRIEND all the way.
I am getting that vibe! great! I noticed her first when FGPS first got started and we were getting some very negative attention in the beginning. I have always had a curiosity about her.
No need to be shy around here. I am shy in the real world, but here I feel free to communicate even if I make an ass out of myself.. maybe the lack of eye contact has something to do with it.
For some reason it seems like the complete opposite for me…I dunno. I make friends pretty easily in real life, but it takes quite awhile before I open up to them. I guess trust has alot to do with that, and building that via the internet is difficult I suppose. Maybe that is it. Oh well….there that is. :)
sistinesmile
am-:
sistinesmile:
am-:
sistinesmile:
am-:
why are you so mysterious?
I dont try to be….really. Just shy I guess. I really enjoy you guys though……
you don’t need to be shy. you seem cool too, even though you don’t post often.
i’m assuming you found us (or me, anyway) through the RA tumblr thing when that was all going on?
Yeah…I guess that is what orginally brought me to tumblr. Sorry if I seem strange. I just really like to read what everyone writes and occasionally blog something. I guess I may be a bit of a lurker. I dont mean to offend, or weird anyone out by my silence. It just seems strange to me to jump in to conversations….I suppose that I need to get more comfortable with that. I hope that it is okay that I do what I do.
well, it’s not like our blogs are private, if we didn’t want people to read them we could make them private. i don’t mind at all.
don’t be shy about jumping in to conversations though… that’s kinda how we all get to “know” each other here…
Yeah….you are right……thanks for the understanding. God, I am feeling like some sort of social weirdo now. It is strange because I am not really socially awkward in real life….the internet thing just kinda throws me I guess. I didnt mean to be mysterious.
theboxer:
sistinesmile:
theboxer:
sistinesmile:
What if I am not strong enough to let you go? What happens then?
Uhhh, What happens then? Well for starters, a sack full of wolves is going to arrive on your doorstep.
But you ARE strong enough to move through all of this and come out on the other side. You’re thisclose. Thisclose to letting her go - and since when did you start to doubt your own ability to ending things so that they stayed ended?
Sis, you have no idea how strong you are. You CAN do this. Maybe putting the previous safeguard into effect will help? Call a friend, ahem, instead of calling she-who-musn’t-be-named?
Thanks for the sweet words….I’m trying. My heart hurts though. It just hurts. I feel like my heart is so full of pain that I need to wring it out. Just go outside and wring it out in the yard. Damn…the lows in life really can match the highs, no? One would think that after all of these years, and what I do for a living, I would be better equipped to do so….
(I need to change this silly theme so that it will specify that it is me who is speaking….why wont it do that?)
No, actually, you reblogged that perfectly - and all on your own!
At times, the lows can not only match but also eclipse the highs. Distance, dear. You need distance. I seem to remember someone telling me it was all about perspective… with a little distance, you’ll gain much more.
You are so right! So then I just decided…..I am exchanging my phone for a telegraph…or for a fire by which I can send smoke signals to communicate. Fuck modernity.
sistinesmile
am-:
sistinesmile:
am-:
why are you so mysterious?
I dont try to be….really. Just shy I guess. I really enjoy you guys though……
you don’t need to be shy. you seem cool too, even though you don’t post often.
i’m assuming you found us (or me, anyway) through the RA tumblr thing when that was all going on?
Yeah…I guess that is what orginally brought me to tumblr. Sorry if I seem strange. I just really like to read what everyone writes and occasionally blog something. I guess I may be a bit of a lurker. I dont mean to offend, or weird anyone out by my silence. It just seems strange to me to jump in to conversations….I suppose that I need to get more comfortable with that. I hope that it is okay that I do what I do.
theboxer:
sistinesmile:
What if I am not strong enough to let you go? What happens then?
Uhhh, What happens then? Well for starters, a sack full of wolves is going to arrive on your doorstep.
But you ARE strong enough to move through all of this and come out on the other side. You’re thisclose. Thisclose to letting her go - and since when did you start to doubt your own ability to ending things so that they stayed ended?
Sis, you have no idea how strong you are. You CAN do this. Maybe putting the previous safeguard into effect will help? Call a friend, ahem, instead of calling she-who-musn’t-be-named?
Thanks for the sweet words….I’m trying. My heart hurts though. It just hurts. I feel like my heart is so full of pain that I need to wring it out. Just go outside and wring it out in the yard. Damn…the lows in life really can match the highs, no? One would think that after all of these years, and what I do for a living, I would be better equipped to do so….
(I need to change this silly theme so that it will specify that it is me who is speaking….why wont it do that?)
